Finding Your Next Act: Reflections on Episode 1 of Tia Mowry's New TV Show
How many of us are actors or have played actors in our own life? This was my first thought as I watched the first episode of Tia Mowry’s new show, My Next Act. And let me start off by saying, I really like this show! While it’s only one episode in (by the time this is posted, it will be two episodes), her show is so relatable. I appreciate her transparency as she navigates life as a single woman after divorce and allows us the opportunity to see her journey.
Tia Mowry’s Journey of Self-Discovery
While watching this episode, it gave me a lot of food for thought. Which led to my original question: “How many of us are actors or have played actors in our own life?” Many of us, myself included, have played a character we made up to make others feel comfortable or to fit into certain spaces. We’ve made adjustments to who we are, and at times, we didn’t honor our integrity. We even lowered our standards or hid parts of ourselves so that others would accept us. But deep down, we were miserable, faking the funk and pretending to be someone we were not.
Why Sacrificing Parts of Ourselves Can Be Harmful
I’ll share a little story—short and sweet. While I’ve never been married, as is the case with Tia, I remember dating a guy who was very judgmental. He always pointed out things that he found wrong about me. The first thing he pointed out was my laugh. He said it was too loud. Then, he commented on my skin (at the time, I didn’t know that I had thyroid problems, which impacted my skin texture). But the real red flag was when he didn’t like what I wore to the gym. He even took me to the mall to buy new gym clothes. At that point, my focus wasn’t on how I looked; I was there to work out!
Eventually, I found myself shrinking to make him feel comfortable. It impacted my self-esteem, how I viewed myself, and it really irritated me. I was changing parts of myself, which eventually led me to play the role of someone I was not.
Before the relationship ended, I knew things needed to change. I wasn’t happy. I felt lost and unprotected because I had let myself down in a way I never had before. After the relationship ended, I focused on rediscovering who I wanted to be, what made me happy, and I promised myself I’d never shrink again to make someone else feel comfortable.
Building a Strong Support System After Divorce
During that time, I realized my support system wasn’t there in the way I needed them to be—not because of anything they did, but because I didn’t share much with them until after the relationship ended. I had become so good at playing a role that I acted like myself around them, so they never saw the changes.
Once I started finding myself again, I leaned more into my support circle. What I appreciate most about my circle is that we hold each other accountable. They now know when I’m slipping, and they call me out so I can get myself together—quickly!
As I type this, I’m wondering: Who is there for you on your journey to becoming your true self? Who are the people in your life who keep it real with you and hold you accountable? In My Next Act, I enjoyed seeing the support Tia had. Her friends were there every step of the way. They came together when she was feeling lonely, and at the end of the show, they helped her heal and truly walk into her next act.
Rediscovering Your True Self After Divorce
Rediscovering yourself after divorce or a relationship ending takes time. You are finding who you are without this other person no longer in your life. In my case, I dated this guy for seven years, and Tia with her ex-husband for a collective 16 years. That is a transition that is difficult for anyone. You must learn what you like and dislike outside of this person. This was someone you would pick up the phone for to share good news, and now, you have to share this with friends or find another outlet to share those wins, like journaling.
Rediscovering yourself is about learning who you are. Your likes. What's most important to you. You are alone with your thoughts and your own presence and really must answer the question: Who Am I? This, my friends, takes time. But it can happen with one step at a time. For myself, I envisioned the person I wanted to become, and I began to focus on that. Starting with a list of things I've always wanted to try or would be interested in trying. Then, I started taking steps to do them. This allowed me to explore new parts of myself that I never knew existed.
It's like regaining our identity or a new identity outside of this person. When we sacrifice for others, it's easy to lose who we are, and sometimes, we can take on parts of our partner. Taking the time to embrace the temporary discomfort is not easy, but the more you implement new things and learn to love the person in the mirror, the easier it gets. And if you learn the lesson, then when you meet the right person, you will know who you are and stand true to that and not change yourself to fit into someone else's mold of who they want you to be.
I’ve placed my health as a top priority by working out. I’ve joined local groups and met new friends. I’ve enrolled in golf courses, taken the time to care about my appearance more, and I’ve taken myself out for lunch or dinner. Going to therapy to work on myself has been pivotal. I’m really rediscovering new parts of me and learning to love me unapologetically. I'm still a work in progress, but the key is that I'm making progress. And you can too.
Tia shared that she sacrificed parts of herself during her marriage, which leads me to believe that the person we see today is not who she was back then. On social media, we see someone who appears to be free, living in her truth, and very happy.
Conclusion
As we navigate through life’s ups and downs, it’s crucial to reflect on the roles we play and the parts of ourselves we sacrifice for others. The journey to rediscovering our true selves can be challenging, but it is also incredibly rewarding. Remember, you are not alone in this journey. It’s time to step off the stage of others’ expectations and embrace your own script.
So I’ll end with this: What parts of yourself have you sacrificed for others? As women, we often sacrifice our needs and wants for others to feel safe or seen. But who is making you feel safe? Who is giving you the space to show up as your full, authentic self?
